Hiding in Plain Sight
by Eydie Munroe
Summary: Set in Admiral Janeway's timeline, Voyager is in rough shape after several attacks from the Fen Domar and is forced to seek refuge to avoid capture and destruction. While in hiding, several previously unknown truths come to the surface, changing both the captain and her crew forever. Written for VAMB's 2013 Secret Summer challenge.
1. Chapter 1

**Hiding in Plain Sight  
by Eydie Munroe**

Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, I know…I think we've all read this about a million times already…they're not mine, they're CBS and Paramount's. Since they can't seem to do anything constructive with them, I'm taking them out to play.

Author's Note: My response to the VAMB 2013 Secret Summer Challenge. Hester's request?

"A Janeway story, set in the timeline of Endgame's Admiral Janeway (i.e. at some point during those additional 16 years it took Voyager to get home). The main focus should be the deep friendship between Janeway and Torres. Additionally, I'd love to see them break out the compression phaser rifles!" Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter One**

Kathryn Janeway threw her feet up on the coffee table, toes wiggling under her socks as she took advantage of being able to sit down for the first time in three days. Repairs after the latest attack on Voyager were only about two thirds complete, but B'Elanna had chased her out of Engineering after she'd dropped a hydrospanner for the third time, nearly missing the chief engineer's foot. Kathryn also had a vague recollection of her first officer trying to tell her to get some rest, but as usual, she ignored the advice and did what she needed to – keep her ship together for one more day.

She was just raising a newly replicated coffee to her mouth when the chime to her quarters rang. A low growl accompanied her heavy sigh, and she called, "Come in," as she leaned forward, putting her feet back on the floor and placing the cup on the table. The doors opened to admit her first officer, who was carrying a padd and a strained expression. "What can I do for you, Commander?"

Chakotay quickly crossed the room, holding the padd out to her. "The final casualty report from the Doctor," he said grimly. "Three dead, and sixteen injured. Ensign Caplan is still in critical condition."

Janeway scrolled through the report he'd brought. _Three dead._ The words knifed her like almost no others could. "The fire in Astrometrics?" she asked.

Chakotay nodded, clasping his hands behind his back. "They were installing the last of Seven's upgrades when the Fen Domar attacked us."

She looked up sharply at the mention of his dead wife's name. She was a topic that very rarely passed anyone's lips these days. It had been more than three years since the former drone was killed, though in some ways it seemed like it had only been days. In a staff meeting a few days earlier, Chakotay announced that as he'd been cleaning files out of their personal database, he'd stumbled across some of the ideas that Seven had been working on prior to her death, which he thought might help Voyager identify its current adversary more quickly by extending the ship's sensor range. It was the first time Kathryn had heard him mention her name since the disastrous visit she'd paid him after the funeral.

_"I wanted to see how you were doing," the captain said as she stepped into his darkened quarters. She stopped in the middle of the room, not wanting to press too hard. He was slumped into what had become his favorite chair, eyes unseeing, ears only half-hearing her words. "Nobody's heard from you in five days."_

_ Without moving, he muttered, "Don't want to see anybody."_

_ She stood for a moment, trying to think of what to say. He didn't have a monopoly on grief here, but as much as Kathryn wanted to lash out at him for wallowing, she knew she couldn't. Chakotay's behavior was very similar to her own after Justin and her father died. In some ways, she wanted to do what Phoebe had done, but Kathryn didn't feel that she had that right. Eventually, she asked, "Can I get you anything?"_

_ He shook his head, tired eyes finally sliding closed. "No."_

_ Fearing he might just fall asleep right there, she finally walked over and then crouched down beside him, her hand coming to rest on his forearm. "Maybe you should get some sleep."_

_ Anger flashed through him, his jaw tightening as he told her in a viperous voice, "Maybe you should get out."_

_ She drew her hand back like it had been burned. "I beg your pardon?"_

_ He looked at her with a murderous look that she hadn't seen since the first time he'd appeared on Voyager's bridge, when Paris had been the object of his ire instead of her. "Leave, Kathryn. Now."_

_ His grief was understandable, but his rebuff of anybody who tried to comfort him over the last two weeks had been the reason she'd come down here. "No." Before she knew what happened, he bolted from the chair, unintentionally knocking her to the floor. "Hey!" He didn't stop, storming off into his bedroom without another word. Now incensed and her patience at an end, she scrambled to her feet and headed after him._

_ "Get out of here!" he howled at her as soon as she came through the doorway._

_ "What the hell was that about?" she shot back, truly not understanding where this burst of anger was coming from._

_ His hands unconsciously flexed at his sides. "What part of 'get out' didn't you understand?" Chakotay's hands were shaking as he snatched an open liquor bottle off the nightstand and the dirty, empty glass that had been beside it. "Leave me alone."_

_ Now it made sense. He was drunk, had been for the better part of a few days, she guessed. And she knew she couldn't let him go down this path. His challenge just galvanized her intent to be there, her chin raised as she glared across the room at him. "I don't care how much pain you're in. There is no excuse for this," she told him, indicating the bottle. "It has been sixteen days, and I expect you to behave like any other member of this crew."_

_ "Fuck you!" he spat at her, hurling the bottle against the wall beside him. "I don't give a good goddamn what you expect."_

_ She flinched when the bottle hit the bulkhead, rare tears of frustration and anger filling her eyes. "You think you're the only one hurting?" she threw back at him, a small part in the back of her mind wondering how this had suddenly turned into such a confrontation, and why she was being so mean. "There are other people on this ship who are in just as much pain as you are – only you don't seem to give a shit."_

_ He whirled around. "You really think that's the same? You really think that somebody you saw as a trainee can really have the same effect on you as me losing my wife?"_

_ She had been trying to calm herself down, and to remember that he needed compassion right now. But his accusation of not caring about Seven made her see red, and whatever control she had abruptly disappeared. "Where do you get off?" Kathryn charged. "Where the hell do you get off saying I didn't love her? She was like my daughter, for Christ's sake! The closest thing I'll ever have in this God-forsaken quadrant."_

_ "This is your fault," he challenged, stepping forward and forcing her back toward the door again. "You just had to order her to get that power converter from the Dacsi. I told you to wait until we found someone less hostile, but as usual you didn't listen!" As he spoke, he'd continued to force her backward, into the living area and toward the door. "I don't give a damn how you feel, Kathryn. You can die and rot in hell for all I care."_

_ And with that, he grabbed her by the arm, escorted her to the doors, and shoved her out into the corridor as soon as they opened. When she tried to override his entry code, she discovered he had somehow managed to lock out her command codes, ensuring that she could not go back and invade his space again._

_They were done._

"Captain?"

Kathryn was brought back from her memories by his voice, which over the years since had regained its former gentle tones as he'd worked his way back from grief to a more-or-less functioning state. She blinked a couple of times, then asked, "Is there anything else, Commander?"

If he was concerned at her lapse, he didn't show it. "No, Captain. Unless there is something else that you need, I was going to turn in for the night."

She shook her head, giving him a small, bitter smile. "No, nothing. Goodnight Commander."

"Goodnight Captain." He gave her a small nod, then turned and left.

Kathryn sighed again, picking up her coffee and reclaiming her previous position with her feet up. They had managed to find some equilibrium between them after that last epic battle, but it had taken months before they could even speak to each other outside of the bridge or a briefing. Even then, it was stilted and awkward, the spatial equivalent of talking about the weather. Distancing herself from him was one of the hardest things that Kathryn Janeway had ever had to do in her life, but she did it in self-preservation. _Something you probably should have done all along,_ she reminded herself, taking another sip.

It was late and she was exhausted, but sleep was not something she was looking forward to. Every time they lost somebody, she would dream of them that night, usually some sort of Dickensian nightmare in which the dead would demand an explanation for their demise, and where she'd struggle to find one she could live with. Each morning, the guilt would deepen that much further, and chip another piece away from the woman that used to be Kathryn Janeway. She wondered just how she managed to stay sane through all of it.

She was contemplating asking the Doctor for a sleep aid that would keep her from dreaming when something caught her eye. The last time she had been in here was with Miral, who she'd offered to babysit while Tom and B'Elanna managed to squeeze in a date night. Now six years old, a number of crew members had volunteered to teach her the curriculum that Starfleet's child education division had sent them, and that included Kathryn. At B'Elanna's urging, she started to teach the young girl the basics in science, finding Miral an eager student who grasped concepts like how water transitions from liquid to solid to gas in no time at all.

When they'd last been here, Miral had been asking her questions about where the different humanoids aboard Voyager had come from. Using it as a teachable moment, Kathryn showed her pictures of their different home planets, and then had challenged the young girl to draw a picture of one on her own. The picture that had been left behind when the ship went to red alert was one of a blue-green planet, with large, snow-capped mountains that stuck out in points from the surface. Miral had also drawn a picture of Voyager in orbit above, with four figures standing on its hull – herself, her mother, her father, and Captain Janeway.

Kathryn couldn't help but smile as she gazed at the picture, but her vision of it also got a little blurry. Her niece and nephews were growing up back in the Alpha Quadrant without really knowing her, and none of her friends had had any small children when she still lived there, so she'd never been immortalized by a child in a drawing before. She'd always considered herself to be a tough woman, one who was getting harder and more resolute by the day. But she had a soft spot for Miral Paris, and the notion that Miral considered her a member of her family was one that truly warmed her heart.

_Alright, that's enough, Kathryn,_ she chided herself, knowing that the easy sting of tears appeared because she was beyond tired. She left the drawing on the table where it was, recycled her coffee cup, then checked her schedule for the morning before she headed to bed. She still was fighting off sleep, but she forced herself to relax and picked up the book that B'Elanna had loaned her, reading about six chapters before she finally dropped off to sleep, its pages dropping down forgotten onto her chest.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

The next morning in the mess hall, Kathryn was ensconced at her usual table by the viewports, a padd in one hand while she ate breakfast with the other. It had taken a little while after Neelix left, but Chell had found a good set of recipes that were popular with the crew, and the captain had discovered that some of her appetite had actually returned when not faced with the science experiment de jour. There had been a communal sigh of relief when the crew discovered that the only surprises in Chell's meals were the names.

"This seat taken?"

She looked up to find B'Elanna Torres standing above her, her tray balanced on one hand while she held her own stack of padds in the other. The captain motioned for her to take the seat opposite, and then set her fork down to take a sip of coffee. "What time did you finally get to bed last night?"

B'Elanna shrugged as she sat down. "Oh, about oh three hundred, I guess. It would have been earlier, but Miral woke up with a nightmare right after I walked in the door, and it took more than an hour to get her to go back to sleep." She leaned down to take in a mouthful of scrambled eggs, but B'Elanna didn't miss the dark look that crossed her friend's face. "You had one last night too, didn't you?"

Her nightmares weren't a secret – after Seven's death, it had been so bad that she barely slept for five days straight. At the time, Kathryn had been stoically trying to deal with it herself, not wanting to call attention to her own pain since Chakotay had been in such a bad way. But B'Elanna had sensed her carefully concealed turmoil, and had busted her way through it in her typical relentless style. They had always been cordial to each other for the most part, but when B'Elanna assumed a role as confidante to the grieving captain, it had shown B'Elanna the side of the woman that few ever really saw. After that, they grew quite close, filling the void in their lives that Chakotay's withdrawal seemed to create for both of them.

Kathryn nodded, her eyes fixed on her breakfast tray. She'd managed to get through about half of the pancakes that Chell had so happily put there a short while before. "Two, actually. Woke up from one, only to fall asleep to another." Taking one last forkful, she added, "I finally gave up two hours before my alarm went off."

Her friend ground her teeth a little. "This is not good for you. You've got to get some sleep." Then she smiled when an idea hit her. "I could give you Miral for the day – that always tires me out."

"Much as I would enjoy that, falling asleep isn't the problem." Seeing the doubting look on B'Elanna's face, she added, "It's only one night. If it gets bad, I promise I'll see the Doctor, okay?"

"Okay."

_"Senior staff report to the bridge."_

The both looked at each other. This morning's meeting wasn't for another two hours, and it was unusual for Harry to be calling for the senior staff without consulting with the captain about the problem first. She tapped her commbadge. "Janeway to Kim. Harry, what's going on?"

_"We've got company,"_ he replied. _"Six Fen Domar ships have just appeared within sensor range."_

"Son of a…" Getting onto her feet, she cut herself off before she cursed over an open comm line. "Are they armed?"

_"Not yet, Captain."_

"Time to intercept?"

_"Thirty-two hours."_

Janeway willed herself not to growl again, and felt her chief engineer's presence a step or two behind her as the younger woman raced to catch up with her. "Go to yellow alert," the captain ordered, leading the way toward the nearest turbolift. "I'm on my way."

The doors to the lift opened immediately when they approached. "Figures. I'm still putting this damned thing back together," B'Elanna muttered under her breath.

Kathryn agreed with her, but said nothing for the rest of the ride. "Report," she called out as soon as she set foot on the bridge.

"Two of the ships appear to be part of the group that attacked us three days ago," Tuvok reported from the tactical station. "The remaining four are of an unfamiliar configuration."

"Pillik Stol's ship?" Chakotay questioned from the command centre.

Harry nodded as he relinquished the command chair. "Yes sir."

Janeway made her way down to her seat, legs crossing automatically as she leaned left to examine the data on her own readouts. "Reinforcements?" she wondered aloud, punching a few buttons to view data streams from different departments.

"Armaments appear to be less than we have previously encountered," the Vulcan responded.

"It looks like quite a bit of room on those ships is something like empty cargo bays," Harry said, now back at his station at Ops.

"Any sign that they're aware of us?" she asked without looking up.

"They're definitely heading towards us," he replied.

"It'd be a pretty big coincidence if they're just in the neighbourhood," Paris remarked, swiveling to look at her briefly before returning to his console.

The captain looked up at the viewscreen, which showed the magnified dots that that were the newest Fen Domar fleet. With the upgrades to Astrometrics, it was a huge leap further than they'd had before. "Harry, what's in the nearby systems?"

After a few moments, he started to recite a laundry list of celestial objects within the next few light years. "Three gas giants, a chthonian planet, circumbinary planet, two Class Ms – both uninhabited – and a Class 6 comet."

"Not much for hiding spaces," Chakotay said quietly.

Her finger rubbed absently at her chin as she thought. But before she could say anything, a chirp sounded at Ops. "They're hailing us," Ensign Kim announced.

"So much for sneaking away undiscovered," Paris whispered to himself.

Janeway drew herself up tall in her chair, pressing her spine into the cushion as she steeled herself. "Onscreen."

The image of the approaching ships shifted to show the fearsome visage of Pillik Stol. Flaring lavender eyes peered at her from beneath his heavy brow, stringy white hair hanging over it. "Cut your engines and prepare to surrender," he snarled.

The captain didn't so much as flinch. "I haven't done it any other time, Stol. What makes you think I'm going to do it now?"

His eyes narrowed at her challenge. "I shall be ecstatic to blow your ship from the stars and collect the pieces for my bosses," he gloated, "but Voyager is worth much more intact. Not to mention your crew members." His vicious gaze swept across the bridge, lingering on the first officer and the ensign at Ops.

The Belton slave trade. They'd been warned about it by the last friendly race they'd met before they'd entered Fen Domar space. Men and women were equally prized to serve in all capacities, but Stol's personal preference seemed to be for men. Janeway had no doubt that if they were captured, Chakotay and Harry would become his personal playthings. "I'm getting tired of this," she stated, giving him the impression that she no longer was affected by his threats. "Stol, you come near us, and I will destroy you and your ships."

To her surprise, the Fen Domar leader laughed. Heartily. "You keep telling yourself that, Captain." He cut off the connection.

She blew a huff of air out, her hands clamping down on the armrests of her chair for a moment as she thought. "Everybody start brainstorming," she announced to the bridge staff, getting to her feet. "We'll meet in half an hour. You have the bridge, Commander." Janeway then disappeared into her ready room, where she started to pour over the readings Tuvok and Kim were still receiving.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

The faces that sat around the conference table were grim. They had been engaged by the Fen Domar sixteen times now, and so far had managed to scrape their way out of each situation. But the last time had caused the most damage, the result of their enemy changing tactics and nearly disabling Voyager in the process. The captain started the meeting by asking Tuvok, "Any sign of other Fen Domar ships?"

"Not at the moment," he replied, fingers carefully steepled together on the table. "But we would be foolish to assume that they do not have reinforcements enroute."

"I agree. Fortunately the new upgrades to Astrometrics have given us more time than we usually have with these guys." Looking at each officer, she said, "Anyone got any bright ideas?"

It was Harry who ventured out first. "I was thinking that, with the right adjustment to our shield harmonics, it might be possible to hide in the upper atmosphere of one of the gas giants."

Paris shook his head. "Our presence would cause eddies that would make us visible. We'd have to go deep to be covered, and it might be too much pressure for the hull to take." He then addressed the captain. "What about faking our own deaths? We could feign damage, or show them activating the self-destruct, then create an explosion that would cover our jump to warp?"

The idea had its merits, but they could very well end up shooting themselves in the foot. The size of the explosion needed to cover their tracks would have to be tremendous, and if it wasn't timed just right, they might just destroy themselves or, worse yet, disable the ship and leave themselves drifting in space, where they would be ripe for the taking. "Let's prepare for it, but as a last resort," she told them. "B'Elanna?"

Her chief engineer nodded as she made notes in her padd, then looked up. "I was thinking that we could use the deflector array to screw with their communications systems. Rig it to plant erroneous information in their systems, like navigation errors that need to be corrected."

Chakotay fixed her with a look. "Can you do that undetected? From this distance?"

"It'll take some doing," was her answer, "but I don't see why we couldn't match the frequencies they're using."

"Get on it." Janeway looked around the table. "Anyone else?"

Harry shifted in his chair a little. "What about the comet?"

That got her attention. "What did you have in mind?"

"Well…even if we are able to jump to warp hidden in an explosion, it might only be a few days, or even hours, before we show up on their scans again." He started to gesture with his hands as he continued to explain. "A Class 6 comet has a core large enough to land on."

There was a stunned quiet from everyone in the room. "Class 6 comets are known to be highly unstable," Tuvok was the first to point out. "On a number of scientific exploration vessels, their nuclei have been observed to disintegrate as they approach the star which they orbit."

"Is this comet's perihelion either one of these nearby stars?" Janeway questioned.

"Yes Captain. It appears to be heading back out away from the more distant star. Its tail currently extends approximately two and a half AUs."

"Even if the comet is stable, merely landing on the core's surface will not be enough," Tuvok interjected, annoyance filtering through his voice. "The Fen Domar will be able to merely circle around and scan it to find us."

The tone in which he spoke caught everyone's attention. While he was normally able to control his more irrational side, every once in a while, a bit of erratic emotion seeped into his speech. The Doctor had observed this a few weeks earlier, but his attempts to find a more effective medication mix had been stalled as he cared for all the casualties that had been caused by battle after battle. "I agree," the captain told him. "Just landing Voyager on the surface won't be enough."

"No comet core is smooth," Tom pointed out.

"It's possible that there might be some sort of natural concavity that could conceal the ship," Chakotay added.

"Harry, start scanning the core to see if there's a good hiding place," Janeway ordered. "B'Elanna, start working on the explosion ploy and have it ready just in case we run out of options. Tuvok, keep an eye on our friends out there and let me know if they change course. In the meantime, keep brainstorming other ideas in case this comet doesn't turn out to be one we can use. We'll reconvene in three hours. Dismissed." She stayed seated while they all got up to leave, and quickly called, "Commander, a moment please," before he could go.

Chakotay turned to face her, hands again clasped behind his back. "Yes, Captain?"

She stood to meet him. "I just wanted to say…thank you for giving us Seven's ideas for Astrometrics. If it hadn't been for those, we probably wouldn't have seen these ships until they were almost on top of us."

The impassive expression he usually wore these days when dealing with her relaxed slightly. It was the first time that she'd mentioned his wife's name to him since that last fight they'd had. "It's what she would have wanted," he said quietly, memories of Seven's determination coming back to him. Then with a twinkle in his eyes, he added, "It did increase our efficiency, after all."

To this, Kathryn couldn't help but laugh a little. "That it did." They lapsed into a few moments of silence, each wondering if there was something else that they should say. But she found that she didn't have anything, and simply said, "Dismissed."

He looked grateful to be released, again giving her a small nod before he turned and left the room. She shook her head after him, wondering if they would ever manage to be able to talk to one another like they had before, without such a heavy blanket of discomfort.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

"Harry?" Janeway called out as she strode back out onto the bridge from her ready room an hour later. "What have you got?"

"We're in luck," he replied, bringing up his most recent scans as she made her way over to his station. "The core is stable, and there are multiple locations that are large enough to conceal Voyager. Here, here and here…" He pointed to a number of locations displayed on the screen. "These all have an actual ice overhang alongside large carbon dioxide jets. This one…" He indicated another location, "is located below the convergence of the gas and dust tails, and should provide enough interference to scramble their sensors."

"But that will give us the same problem," she countered.

He nodded. "B'Elanna and I have been talking about that."

Following her cue, Torres crossed the bridge and joined them. "I was thinking that we can use short bursts from our phasers to melt some of the carbon dioxide from the jet," she explained. "It will freeze so fast that we should be able to build a wall to close ourselves into the space. Before that though, we implant a series of remote probes just below the ice surface between us and the tail's periphery, and conceal them with resonance shields. Then the network would relay readings from the outermost probe back to us while we're in our cave."

"Letting us sit and wait them out." The captain thought about it for a moment. "What would the probes' sensor range be?"

"About thirty billion kilometres."

Janeway looked up at the hiss of the aft turbolift doors, and saw Chakotay step off and toward them. "What's the word on our supplies?"

"We're in good shape," he reported. "According to Chell, we've still got enough foodstuffs from our stop at Denevos to last another five weeks. Eight, if we eliminate one meal in the mess hall per day."

"Power supplies?" the captain asked Torres.

"Low after our last engagement with Stol," she said with some reservation. "Our power stores are only back up to fifty percent after the last round of repairs."

Janeway grimaced. "It will have to do. Let's cut down replicator rations by a third. That should save some power too."

"If people double up, we could close off three decks of crew quarters," Chakotay suggested.

She nodded. "Get on it." He hesitated, and she frowned. "Commander?"

Her first officer steeled himself a bit. "How are we going to convince Stol that we've just disappeared? We're out in open space right now; he's going to figure out our course."

"Maybe we can amend our explosion idea," Torres thought aloud. Seeing the looks she got from the others, she explained, "They can see that we're still not at a hundred percent. We could use one of those Hessikk photon torpedoes we picked up, and rig it to explode alongside some spare materials and parts. Then we put it in orbit of one of the planets, or maybe on the surface of that chthonian planet, and make it look like our warp core breached while we were heading for cover."

"They'll stick around to salvage whatever's left," Harry warned.

She gave him a devious smirk. "Well then we'll just make sure it's nothing they can use. And while they're chasing ghosts, we can finish repairs."

"There's one other problem though," Chakotay pointed out. "We have no way of knowing how long they'll stick around, looking for us. And once we're sealed into that cave, we're stuck until we know they're gone."

"And they could just as easily fake their own departure," the captain added. Her jaw worked as she considered their options. "Unfortunately, I don't see that we have much of a choice other than to fight, and we barely made it out alive the last time." She looked at each of her officers, then made her decision. "We'll go with the comet." Looking over to Tactical, she questioned, "Time to intercept?"

"At current speeds, twenty-nine hours and sixteen minutes," Tuvok stated.

Janeway straightened up from Harry's console. "Alright. Let's get to it." Striding over to the helm, she rested a hand on Tom's shoulder as she leaned forward to indicate their destination on his panel. "I want you to take us here, Mister Paris. And try and make it look like we're limping a little, hmm?"

He smiled as he started to manipulate the controls. "Yes ma'am."

She resisted the urge to smack him. "Time to destination?"

Paris quickly calculated it, already engaging thrusters to turn them in the right direction. "At full impulse, with a few twists and turns? About three hours."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

As they neared their target, anticipation was slowly growing on the bridge. From her seat in the command centre, the captain was still debating the plan, but couldn't see any other way around it. The Fen Domar matched them for speed, so they couldn't outrun them, and their ships had similar armaments, so the six ships would easily outgun them. Their plan to hide out on the comet would give them two advantages – with its composition, it would hide them from the enemy's sensors, and while Pillik Stol and his cohorts were busy trying to find them, they would silently be moving away as the comet continued to carry them out of the system. It was a gamble, she knew, but they had taken bigger ones before. And it was an opportunity to finish repairs, so that if the Fen Domar did fake their own departure, and found Voyager as it tried to leave, they would at least be back up to full fighting strength.

Then there were her own personal fears, which stemmed back from that horrid crash on Tau Ceti Prime. It had been a long time since she'd let herself think about that day; she'd successfully managed to bury her feelings after the alien that had been masquerading as her father brought it up, though it had taken months for her to truly not dwell on it anymore. She lied to herself every time she saw anything resembling the landscape where she'd been rescued, assuring herself – and for a while, Chakotay – that it didn't affect her in the least. Kathryn thanked her luck sometimes that she resided in space, and very rarely had to see ice and snow. But now she was going to be faced with something similar outside the windows in her quarters and ready room.

"We're coming up on the chthonian planet," Paris announced from the helm.

"Slow to one half impulse," Janeway ordered as she got to her feet. Turning toward Tactical, she asked, "The Fen Domar?"

"Still sixteen light years distance," Tuvok reported. "We are currently hidden from their visual scanners."

She nodded, turning back to the viewscreen. "Time to put this plan into action. Janeway to Torres."

_"Go ahead, Captain."_

"It's time to deploy the bomb, B'Elanna."

_"Understood."_

Down in the cargo bay where they'd been working, the engineering staff made their final preparations for both the explosive charges as well as the additional 'debris' that would simulate Voyager's demise. Torres checked the remote detonation system one more time, then closed the panel on the cargo casing that had been used to house all the materials and explosives needed. Once she got the final readings and adjustments made, she called back to the bridge. _"Torres to Janeway. We're ready here."_

The captain nodded to her first officer, who also stood, but addressed Ensign Kim. "Harry, transport the bomb to the surface."

B'Elanna watched as the centre of her staff's attention for the last few hours shimmered and disappeared from the open area. Without looking, she handed the spanner she'd been using over to Vorik, who was silently packing tools into a carrying case. "I hope to Kahless this works," she muttered.

"The odds of such a venture being successful have little to do with a deity."

She whirled around on him with a dirty glare, until she saw his raised eyebrow and realized that he was ribbing her. Blowing air out through her teeth, she shook her head. "No, I suppose it doesn't." Snatching the now-closed case out from under his hands, she told her deputy chief, "I need to get to the bridge. Go get started on those relay replacements in weapons control. If this goes to hell, we're going to need everything we've got." He merely nodded, and followed her back out into the corridor.

* * *

With the bomb laid and ready to go, Paris moved Voyager back to as safe a distance as he could, while staying close enough to convince the Fen Domar's long-range sensors that they would be absorbed in the explosion on the former gas giant's surface. "We're in position."

"Understood."

"I'd still feel better if we could take the Flyer over to the comet to check out our landing space," Chakotay told her quietly as they both reviewed readings on their shared monitor.

She nodded. "Me too. But it would tip our hand – they'd be able to see the Flyer on the move."

"We never can do things the easy way, can we?" he commented. Looking at their monitor, Chakotay noticed a shift in the Fen Domar ships' course. "Looks like they've figured out where we've gone."

"It's a good bet." Janeway looked up at the sound of the turbolift doors, seeing Torres heading for the Engineering station. "Alright, it's time. B'Elanna?"

Torres looked down at her newly-activated screen. "Remote detonators are active, detonation signal tied into the helm."

"Helm shows ready," her husband added. "We'll jump to warp within one point two seconds of detonation, which will take us to within one hundred kilometers of the comet's surface."

"Target area is mapped and transferred to the helm," Harry announced.

Tuvok finished the round with, "Awaiting your orders, Captain."

She straightened up in her seat again. "Do it."

The entire plan, much to Kathryn's surprise, went off like clockwork. The explosion triggered their warp jump, and after a bit of a rough ride, they came out of it in position above the landing spot that Ensign Kim had selected. Tom brought them through the tail and to their destination without incident, the groan of the ship's struts echoing throughout the ship as Voyager's full weight was applied. A collectively held breath on the bridge was let go after a few second, when Harry announced, "The comet's surface is stable."

"Gravity?" she questioned.

His hands flew over the controls. "Twenty-two percent, Captain."

She exchanged a glance with Chakotay. "Better than we thought."

"Do we need to anchor the ship?" he asked Torres.

"It's not necessary," she replied, "but it's best to be safe."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

_Captain's Log: Stardate 63616.48_

_ After landing in our hiding place on this comet, we have successfully managed to flash-freeze materials from one of its carbon dioxide jets to construct an ice wall that has now sealed us into this cave. Lieutenant Torres and her team successfully installed the sensor relay, and we are now receiving clear readings. So far, the Fen Domar appear to be behaving exactly as we predicted, and they are currently in orbit around the chthonian planet on which we faked our destruction. We are continuing to make repairs while we wait them out, but we have no idea how long we are going to be stuck here. And since running the ship in grey mode means no holodecks, it's very possible that morale could become an issue. _

Kathryn sighed as she keyed in the report, then slumped back in her chair and closed her eyes. They'd been in the cave for three weeks now, and while everything seemed to be progressing smoothly, she couldn't shake the sense of foreboding that had been with her ever since they'd enclosed themselves here. She looked out through the viewports at the blue-grey ice around them, spattered with bits of black meteor throughout. It looked far darker than the ice she remembered on Tau Ceti, which had been endless white under the system's sun. She'd said morale as in the crew's, but really, it was starting to be her own. _Three weeks,_ she thought to herself. _If I'm like this after three weeks, how the hell am I going to last a couple of months?_

Gritting her teeth, she got up and headed to the replicator for another coffee, absently humming to herself as she waited for it to materialize. Just as she picked it up, something moved in her peripheral vision, and she whirled around to face the windows again, but there was nothing there. Heart thudding in her chest, she had to force herself to slow her breathing, her fingertips rubbing at tired eyes. She still wasn't sleeping well, and now it seemed to be affecting her perception.

The door chime rang, making her jump, and sloshing some of her precious coffee over the sides of the mug. "Come in," she called rather tersely, switching the mug to the other hand and shaking the liquid off her fingers just as B'Elanna walked in.

"Did I catch you at a bad time?" Torres asked.

"Was just lost in thought," her friend said, wiping the last remnants of coffee on her thigh as she moved back behind her desk. "It startled me."

"Sorry." B'Elanna smiled at her. "I came to invite you to dinner. Since Ensign Cavendish has been staying with us, he's been letting Miral help him when he cooks, and now she wants to make something for you, me and Tom."

Janeway frowned. "I already had my two meals today, Lanna." It was a lie. She'd had her one meal in the mess hall and was burning through her replicator rations to fill the gap, determined to set an example for the crew.

"Coffee doesn't count as a meal," Torres pointed out, her arms folding across her chest with a small glare. Seeing the look she got in return, she grinned. "It's just fruit that we already had anyway. Lionel gave her a little star-shaped cutter, and she's wanting to use it on pretty much everything in sight."

Kathryn couldn't help but chuckle. "I'll bet that makes for interesting mealtimes."

B'Elanna laughed. "I drew the line when she wanted to freeze soup so she could use it. So…dinner?"

Seeing that refusal was only going to get her more grief, Kathryn acquiesced. "Okay, fine. What time?"

"Nineteen hundred." Torres smiled the smile of the victorious, serving only to annoy her captain further. "And casual clothes only."

Now she received a funny look. "How come?"

"Because we're starting to go stir crazy, and need to shake things up a bit."

The captain couldn't argue with that logic, given her previous thoughts. "Alright. I guess I can dust off something in my closet."

"See you then."

Kathryn watched as B'Elanna turned on her heel and left, then turned back to her console. That gave her a little over two hours before she needed to be there, and with little else to do at the moment, it would be more than she needed. _Maybe a nap,_ she thought, yawning heavily the moment the idea hit her. Since they'd been here, she found her energy had been waning, probably due to the restriction of her usual routine. She'd had certainly worked herself beyond exhaustion in the past, but sleep now seemed to be an escape from the ice outside her windows.

Her head snapped up when she thought she saw movement again at the viewports, and once again, nothing was there when she examined her surroundings. "Weird…" she muttered, shoving her chair back with her legs and standing up to leave. Exhaustion was one thing, but tired enough to be seeing things that weren't there was quite another. So she headed home, collapsing on her bed without taking off her uniform, and managed to drift away for a little while.

* * *

Miral Paris bounded over to the doors when the chime rang, knowing very well who was on the other side. "Who is it?" she called out loudly.

"The homework inspector!" came the muffled reply. "Is it done yet?"

"Yes!" the little girl called back, finally moving forward and pressing the button that opened the doors. Then she stepped back, fists on her hips as she glared at their new guest. "You're late."

Kathryn stood in the doorway in an exact mirror pose, looking down with a mock irritated expression. "Sorry. I was having a nap."

Nonplussed, Miral stared back up at her. "I had a nap, and I'm on time."

"Miral…" a warning voice came from across the room, "that's enough."

Before she could start laughing, Kathryn knelt down before her accuser and waggled a finger for her to come closer. "Tell you what," she said softly. "Next time I'm late, you can come and get me, okay?"

Miral broke into a wide grin. "Kay!" She then grabbed Kathryn's hand and led her into the room toward the table.

"You're just in time," B'Elanna told her as she set plates out on the table. "Tom and I had both been saving some rations for a rainy day, so we're having spaghetti and meatballs and, of course, zaga fruit."

Kathryn smiled, unable to remember the last time she'd had dinner with the Parises. "Sounds wonderful."

"I'm making the fruit!" Miral announced happily.

Janeway reached down and rested a hand on her shoulder. "So I hear."

"Hi Kathryn," Tom greeted as he walked out of the bedroom, towel drying his hair.

She shook her head. "You didn't have to get all fancy just for me."

Her pilot laughed as he gathered the towel up in his hands. "Well I had time to squeeze in a workout, so I figured it probably wouldn't be a good idea to come to the table smelling like that." Spotting his daughter nearby, he opened the towel and tossed it at her, grinning when it flopped down over her head and shoulders.

"Dad! Ew!" It took her a moment, but Miral fought her way out of the fabric, and then shot her father a foul look. "That's gross!"

"Hey, it's clean!" he protested. Bending down and kissing her hair, he asked her, "Go hang it up for me please." She tromped off to the bathroom, but not before rolling her eyes behind his back.

"We've really got to get her to stop doing that," B'Elanna grumbled.

Their daughter returned just as her mother and father set bowls of pasta and salad down at the table. They all dug in, chatting amiably about a number of different topics over the next little while. At one point, Kathryn caught herself gazing around the able at them, remarking about how close she had become to them over the last few years. When they had first arrived in the Delta Quadrant, she had forced herself to maintain distance from her crew, thinking that it was the best way to maintain the chain of command. But after she and Chakotay stopped speaking to one another, Kathryn suddenly found herself without a friend on board, and realized that her policy had only served to hurt herself. Now, she really did embrace them, having finally learned that she could be both leader and friend, and knowing now that she had what was very close to a family here on Voyager.

When the time came for dessert, Miral proudly demonstrated her new fruit-cutting skills, stabbing slice after slice of zaga with her little cutter, then pressing a button and having a handful of star-shaped fruit tumble down onto four plates. B'Elanna grinned as she watched Tom helping their daughter when the release button got stuck. The honor of the first bite went to the captain, who was well aware of being closely watched as she picked up a piece and put it in her mouth. She hadn't had a chance to sample one of the most recent fruits that their last gathering stop had produced, and was fully prepared to fake enthusiasm over its taste for Miral's sake. But to her surprise, it filled her mouth with a heavenly sweet juice, something similar to watermelon crossed with apples. "Wow," she told Miral after she swallowed it. "This is really good."

"Really?" Miral practically bounced in her chair.

Kathryn nodded. "The best star fruit I've ever had." Miral giggled, then happily settled down and started on her own dessert.

They were interrupted by the doors opening on their own, admitting a lanky, dark-haired man who was genuinely surprised to find anyone there. "Oh, I'm sorry," Lionel Cavendish told them, stopping suddenly. "I'm interrupting."

"It's okay," B'Elanna assured him. "I thought you were on the late shift tonight."

"Originally, yes. But Maloney asked me to trade so he could go on a breakfast date tomorrow, so I have tonight off instead. And I completely forgot you were having dinner with…" He caught himself before he could speak about Janeway like she wasn't there, turned to her and nodded. "Good evening, Captain."

She smiled. "Good evening, Ensign."

"Why don't you join us?" Tom invited.

Their temporary roommate shook his head. "I don't want to impose."

Kathryn was feeling particularly friendly this evening, so she waved him over. "It's not an imposition. Please, join us." She missed Tom and B'Elanna's surprised exchange of glances, distracted when Lionel came up behind Miral and stole a piece of fruit off her plate.

"Hey!" Miral looked up at him with a glare that could melt steel.

"Tastes good, kid," he said absently, making a show of trying to get past her hands to snatch another piece, while she tried to cover her plate with both arms. Managing to grab one more piece, he leaned down and conspiratorially asked her, "Did they like it?"

"Uh huh." Then she cupped a hand to his ear and whispered loudly, "Kathryn said it was the best star fruit she ever had."

His eyes flicked up at the captain, who was watching with amused interested from across the table. "See, I told you she'd like it." He stood up straight again when Tom brought over another chair for him to sit in, then helped himself to the dinner that was still left on the table.

The five of them finished dinner, and the adults continued to visit long after Miral had been put to bed. Kathryn learned more about Lionel Cavendish in those few hours than she had the entire thirteen years they'd spent together on the same ship. He was a theoretical astrophysicist by training; the only reason he'd been on Voyager when they left Deep Space Nine was for the opportunity to observe conditions in the badlands, which were rumoured to mimic the theory he'd been working on at the time, and the chance to even just race past the phenomenon he was researching was an opportunity he'd jumped at. After Voyager was displaced, there was not enough work for him to keep busy, so he'd doubled working in Engineering with B'Elanna. Once the Astrometrics lab was constructed, he'd been prodded into becoming Seven's backup by Torres. He hadn't particularly liked the ex-drone, but found that serving as her second meant he worked opposite shifts, and didn't actually have to see her all that often. After she died, he took over the department, and it was now his regular haunt. And being a night owl, he regularly took the evening shift, which explained why he really had experienced very little interaction with the captain until now.

Kathryn was grateful for the distraction, and hadn't realized how fast time had flown until a yawn grabbed hold of her. "Well," she said, putting her wine glass down on the coffee table, "I think I'm going to call it a night."

Cavendish glanced at a nearby chronometer. "I'd better get going too. Maloney is going to have kittens if I make him late for his date." Getting to his feet, he added, "Thanks for dinner."

"Any time," Tom replied, also standing to say goodbye to his guests.

"We're still on for breakfast tomorrow?" B'Elanna asked Kathryn.

"Oh six hundred, right?" A nod was her answer, and she instantly calculated that if she went to bed right away, she'd manage about five hours of sleep before she had to get up. "Goodnight everyone." She turned to leave, surprised to see Lionel standing in the doorway, holding it open for her to pass through. Her eyebrow lifted briefly, a twitch of a smile on her lips as she acknowledged him on her way through.

Once out in the corridor, they both headed in the direction of the turbolift. "I really hope I wasn't interrupting tonight, Captain," he said quietly.

Glancing over at him, she could see that he was genuine in his concern. "I wouldn't have asked you to stay if it had been."

They reached the lift doors, which opened almost immediately. Each stated their deck, and the hum around them got louder as they started to move. "So what are you working on tonight?" she asked. "I can't imagine that there will be much in the way of astrological phenomena to scan right now."

He shrugged. "Part of tonight will be monitoring the sensor relay network. But I'm also collecting as much data as possible on the comet itself. So much of our information on comets is based on remote observation with probes, or very short close-range trips alongside them as they move. Starfleet will have a ton of data to sift through when we're finally back in space."

She thought about that for a moment. "Which might not be for a couple of months."

"That's okay – it will give me more time to polish it up first."

Kathryn looked at him, and was about to say something when she felt the lift slowing to her deck. "Well, I'm glad I got to know you a little better this evening, Ensign."

"Me too," he said with a pleasant smile. "It was far overdue."

The lift stopped and the doors opened, waiting for her to disembark. "Have a good night."

"Goodnight Captain."

Kathryn turned and headed off down the corridor toward her quarters. Once inside, she quickly got ready for bed, hoping to catch her current tiredness and turn it into a good night's sleep. But as soon as her head hit the pillow, her eyes popped open and her brain shifted into overdrive. She thought about many things, but a lot of the time, her mind strayed back to Lionel Cavendish. There was something about him that she found intriguing, but she couldn't quite figure out what. He was about fifteen years younger than her, which meant he wasn't much older than Harry when they landed out here. It made her cringe the same way she did when she thought about how young Ensign Kim had been robbed of his youth while in her service. His work was interesting to her, but because of her own knowledge, it didn't make it remarkable to her. So that wasn't it.

Then it struck her. He was new. Not new as in somebody who she'd never met before, but new in that he was somebody that she rarely spent time with. It had been a long, long time since Kathryn Janeway had been given the opportunity to get to know somebody from the beginning, and as that thought sank in, she found that it excited her. And though she'd deny it if B'Elanna asked, there had been a very subtle flirting going on between them. She fell asleep and dreamed of friends from her past, and of what it might be like to spend time with new ones.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Despite every effort to create activities to keep the crew occupied, morale was plummeting as another week dragged on. The Fen Domar seemed to have bought that Voyager had been destroyed, and as they predicted, had stuck around to glean whatever they could off the rocky planet's surface. They also seemed to be taking their sweet time doing it, meaning that the captain had no choice but to keep them in seclusion until it was safe.

The crew understood, and did their best under the circumstances. There had been some grumbling at the mess hall's reduced hours, but at least it had done what it was supposed to, and their food supplies seemed to be holding out. Even more of them doubled up, allowing Engineering to minimize power to another full deck, but the close quarters were starting to get on everyone's nerves. By their decision, and not hers, Kathryn had been given Captain's privilege and was not burdened with roommates, which suited her just fine. Her nerves were already frayed, though she couldn't help but wonder if it was their kindness or reluctance to spend time with that made her crew make that choice.

With fewer tasks to take care of these days, Kathryn seemed to take more and more refuge in sleep, more than she ever had on Voyager without being forced to by injury. She spent time with B'Elanna and with Miral, but even that seemed to sap her energy rather than boost it. Most of the time, her sleep was dreamless and not very satisfying. But as the fourth week of their self-imposed confinement slipped into the fifth, the sleep she did get had become restless, and left her more tired than before. A few nights after dinner with Tom and B'Elanna, Kathryn found herself in the middle of a full-fledged nightmare, one that hadn't visited her in many, many years.

She was back on the Terra Nova with her father and fiancé, watching as Justin entered commands for the maneuver that would take them into a terrifying descent down to the planet. This time though, instead of waking up in a snowbank like she had, she found herself beneath the ice cap surrounded by water, muted light filtering down towards her. She tried to hold what was left of her breath and swim toward an opening a fair distance away, but a heavy weight on her foot kept her in place. Looking down, Justin's lifeless eyes stared back at her, his fingers frozen around her ankle. Kathryn kicked and tried to loosen his grip but couldn't dislodge him, and the burning in her lungs forced her to release whatever air had been left. As she started to drown, she glanced up, and saw her father's body floating up against the bottom of the ice. Her involuntary scream filled her lungs and pulled her down hard.

Kathryn awoke with a start, able to breathe in heaving gasps. But the ice was still above her, along with the body of her father. She cried out as she scrambled from the bed, not really grasping that she was back in her quarters on Voyager and not in the waters of Tau Ceti Prime. Her eyes darted wildly around, her brain taking a few moments to realize where she was. Looking to the viewport, her father's body was gone, but the ice was still there, and she slowly remembered that they were hiding out in an ice cave on a comet.

While she had been able to keep the comparisons to Tau Ceti at bay before, her logical mind appeared to be nowhere in sight. Her body was shaking uncontrollably, and she was freezing. She charged out of her quarters without thinking, just needing to be away from the ice.

Ensign Cavendish turned at the sound of the doors to Astrometrics opening, and was shocked when he saw the captain race in wearing nothing but a nightgown. At any other time, his interest would have been aroused at seeing her in very little clothing, but there was a terror about her now that instantly concerned him. "Captain?" She flew past of him as if he wasn't there, up the stairs and onto the raised platform in front of the main display screen. At the moment, it showed the feed from the sensor relay, which was a visual of the open space they were travelling through. She stood there in silence, gasping as she fought to breathe.

He followed her up and approached her cautiously, not wanting to scare her. "Captain?" he tried again. She looked to him for a moment, eyes wide and still not really knowing where she was. He held his hand up to her show he was harmless, and gently asked, "Are you alright?"

She turned back to the viewscreen, the adrenaline starting to ebb as her new surroundings started to sink in. Her knees suddenly gave out from under her, and the next thing she knew she was on the deck. She felt herself being picked up, and opened her eyes to find Lionel's worried face hovering over hers. "Wha…"

"Easy, Captain," he told her, pulling her up against his chest so she could sit upright. "I've got you. Just take some deep breaths." Kathryn was still confused, but it was finally starting to clear. She did as he directed and breathed deeply, her heart rate slowing coming back down. "You alright?" he asked. She nodded slowly, still working on getting her bearings. With his hand unconsciously rubbing across her back, Lionel added, "Nightmare, huh?"

Whatever calm she'd attained vanished, and she looked up at him in shock. "How did you…"

He smiled. "Lucky guess." Seeing her eyes narrow at him, he told her, "Some of them can really throw you for a loop." Without saying anything, Kathryn turned back to look up at the viewscreen, her eyes roaming across it as she took it all in. Seeing this, and that she was still trembling, he ventured, "You needed to see something rather than ice, didn't you?" She didn't answer, but instead let herself sit with the ensign continuing to hold her in his arms as she gradually regained some of her equilibrium. When he felt her body relax a bit, he knew she was calming down again. "Want to talk about it?"

She shook her head. "No. I don't want to burden you with that."

"It's no burden. We've all been there." When she looked at him, he flashed a cheeky grin. "You tell me yours, I'll tell you mine."

Kathryn was taken somewhat aback. While he'd been perfectly cordial at dinner that night, this side of him had only made a small appearance when he was talking to Miral. And even more surprisingly, he was speaking to her in a manner that brushed aside their commander-subordinate relationship. With the exception of B'Elanna, no one else spoke to her this way. And while the Starfleet captain wanted to chastise him for it, the woman wanted to thank him. Part of her was fighting against it, telling her how inappropriate this was, but the more dominant part at the moment needed comforting, and Kathryn was too tired to fight it. So she gave him a very abridged version of what had happened in real life, then told him how the dream differed, and how she had reacted when she'd woken up and saw nothing but greyish ice.

"That must have been horrible," he said sincerely. "No wonder you came down here looking for the stars." Going on instinct, Lionel pulled her into a gentle hug. "I'm so sorry…Kathryn."

With her face hidden against his chest, she let herself smile at his assumption of using her name. Pulling back, but letting him still hold onto her, she said, "What about you?"

His head cocked a little. "Me?"

She chuckled just a bit. "I told you mine."

"Ah." He drew a deep breath, then said, "With me, it's the Hirogen. I'm fighting them, but it's sometime in Ancient Greece, so all I have is a shield and a sword while they have phasers. Every time I try a different strategy, but I always end up eviscerated."

The guilt that she always carried about stranding Voyager out here slammed into her as she saw yet another example of how it directly affected someone. "I'm sorry, Lionel," she said as she pushed away.

He rested his hand on her forearm. "There's nothing to be sorry about."

She looked back at him. "It's my fault you ever had to meet them."

Lionel understood instantly. "Sure, you're the reason I met them. But you're not the reason I keep dreaming about them."

His words, and the compassionate way in which they were delivered, surprised her. She murmured, "You shouldn't have to dream about them at all."

"Well, there's nothing saying that I wouldn't have dreamed up something equally as horrible in the Alpha Quadrant. If I was alive at all." With a shrug, he added, "I would have made a lousy soldier."

"I don't believe that." Kathryn had looked up his record after the dinner with Tom and B'Elanna, and his time on Voyager, he had performed far above expectations when it came to the dangerous situations they had found themselves in.

He smiled. "Well at any rate, I'd rather be here, alive on Voyager, than counted amongst the casualties back home." His heart warmed when she finally cracked a smile, and he squeezed her arm a little. "Are you feeling any better?"

She nodded. "A bit."

"Good."

They gazed at one another for a few moments, a crackle of attraction forming between them. Kathryn couldn't help but wonder at his kind behavior toward her; it had really been a long time since she'd experienced anything like it. "Well, I should try and get back to sleep," she said softly, breaking the spell.

Without a word, the ensign climbed up to stand, then reached his hand to her and helped her up. He followed her down the stairs and back toward the door. "I hope you have better dreams this time," he said before she could leave.

Kathryn stopped and turned around, an appreciative smile on her face. "Me too. Thank you for your…" She searched for the right word, "your help this evening."

He smiled right back at her. "Your secret is safe with me."

Turning to leave again, she stopped herself and instead stepped toward him, standing on her bare toes to kiss his cheek. "Good night, Lionel."

Cavendish watched her go, admiring her receding form as she went. He was glad he'd been able to help her – her condition on her surprise arrival had concerned her greatly. But what he hadn't counted on was this feeling that her kiss had now left him with. His interest was piqued, the first time in a long time for him too.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

In her efforts to stave off boredom as they continued to wait for the Fen Domar to leave, Kathryn had picked up her card playing skills once again. She hadn't played since she was a child, spurning it off as yet another 'basic skill' that her parents had foisted upon her growing up. But when Tom had suggested a ship-wide tournament as a way to relieve some of the tension, she decided it wasn't an entirely bad idea. She worried that the competitive aspect of it might ruffle a few feathers, but had laughed when he commented that if any fight fights broke out, it would provide exercise for both the competitors and the security guards who would end up hauling them off to the brig. So the tournament was on.

Both she and B'Elanna both needed to sharpen their skills before the tournament on Friday, so they now sat at the table in Kathryn's quarters to practice. "So…" B'Elanna started as she dealt their third Canasta hand, "What's new with you these days?"

"Oh I don't know," Kathryn replied, picking up her cards and starting to sort them into her hand. "My ship is currently stuck on a comet hurtling through space while we wait for the neighbourhood bullies to lose interest and move onto their next victim. You?"

She shrugged, arranging her own cards. "Well my husband is cranky, my daughter is whiny, and my staff is ready to chew duranium. The warp core isn't running, but the rumour mill seems to be going full force."

"Anything good?" her friend asked, only half-meaning it.

"Well, kind of." She watched as Kathryn picked up a card. "Apparently some woman was wandering the corridors last night in her pajamas."

Kathryn's eyes snapped up. "What?"

B'Elanna knew she'd latched onto something. "From what I heard, this woman was plenty upset when she was first spotted, but then looked happy as a clam when she went home."

A coffee cup hid her shocked expression as Kathryn took a drink, and she put on her best casual air as she put it to the side and chose a card to discard. "Must have solved the problem then."

"Must have." They played the next few turns in silence, but B'Elanna couldn't let it go any further. "You want to tell me what's going on?"

Kathryn continued to play. "Not really."

A devilish smile crossed B'Elanna's face. "If you don't tell me, I'm going to tell Chakotay that you're still stealing his replicator rations for coffee."

Without looking at her, Janeway replied, "Please. He's known about that all along. He set up a ghost account for me years ago so that he would actually have a few rations left at the end of the month."

Torres laughed. "Okay, so I can't use that one. But I'm sure I've got some dirt I can use on you." Kathryn sighed, knowing that she was beat. She gave B'Elanna the rundown of what had happened, and how Lionel Cavendish had helped her once she'd burst into Astrometrics. B'Elanna listened intently, her interest growing when she realized just what might be happening. "You know, he did seem to be a little fond of you after dinner the other night," she commented.

Wanting to hide her own growing feelings, Kathryn went back to playing when she said, "Lanna, he's almost half my age."

"So?"

"So? I've always dated older men. Never in my life have I been attracted to someone younger. He's Harry's age, for god's sake!"

"So you're saying Harry has a chance then?" She laughed at the look of absolute shock on her friend's face. "Kathryn, relax. There's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"I'm not embarrassed," the other denied. "It's just…inappropriate."

B'Elanna's eyes rolled toward the ceiling. "You're not going to do this again, are you?"

Janeway's internal alarm bells started going off. "Do what?"

The woman across the table set her cards down on the table. "Push a man who likes you away because of protocol."

"B'Elanna…"

"Didn't you learn the last time?" Torres challenged heatedly.

Now Kathryn's back was up. "That's none of your business."

Her friend was undeterred though. "Chakotay loved you, and you pushed him away until he finally gave up and married somebody else." The last words were spit out, a testament to B'Elanna's disapproval of their marriage, even after all these years. "Now another man is showing an interest in you, and you're going to do it again!"

"That's enough, Lieutenant!"

"Oh no…you're not pulling rank on me because we're getting into territory you don't like." Her eyes flashing, B'Elanna jumped from her seat and leaned across the table to confront her. "Kathryn, why do you insist on keeping yourself miserable? I've seen you watching Tom and me. You want that for yourself."

"So what if I do?" Kathryn countered, standing to get a few steps of space. "That doesn't mean I get to have it."

"So what are you going to do? Keep playing with holograms until we get home?" B'Elanna instantly regretted her words when she saw the flicker of pain in her friend's face. "Kathryn, I'm sorry," she said quickly. "That was uncalled for."

Janeway folded her arms protectively over her chest. "Looks like Tom's not the only one who's cranky."

B'Elanna opened her mouth to say something, but caught herself agreeing with her friend. "I guess I deserved that." Her stance softened and her temper waned, and she was much calmer when she said, "I didn't mean to upset you. I just want you to be happy."

"I am happy."

Everything about her body language said otherwise. B'Elanna frowned, then grabbed her friend's hand and dragged her over to sit on the couch. "Look, I know that you've always stuck to those rules. But it's been thirteen years. Don't you think that maybe it's time you got to be happy?" Kathryn was about to say something, but she cut her off. "I'm not saying that anything is going on, but Lionel's a nice guy. I think, if there's something there, you owe it to yourself to explore it. Stop worrying about the rest of us, and have some fun for a change."

"And what if something did happen?" Kathryn said after a long while, giving her first indication that she was even considering going down this path. "If we started something and it didn't work out, we're still stuck together on this ship."

B'Elanna closed her eyes and held onto her patience. This was a familiar argument. "It's not like Chakotay," she told her kindly. "You don't work with him. Should that happen, it would be very rare for the two of you to even cross paths." Seeing her friend's hesitation, she squeezed her hands and said, "Let yourself live, Kathryn. You deserve it."

Kathryn was about to say something when the door chime interrupted them. "Come in," she called.

They opened to admit Ensign Cavendish, who tentatively stepped inside. He smiled when he saw the two women sitting on the couch. "Captain. B'Elanna."

"Hi Lionel. I was just leaving. Miral's lesson with the doctor is just about up anyway." Torres got up and headed for the door, turning to give Kathryn a conspiratorial look from behind Lionel's back. "I'll see you later." And then she was gone.

"What can I do for you, Ensign?" Janeway questioned as she returned to the table to tidy up the cards that had been left there.

"I wanted to check in and see how you were doing," he said as he watched her. "Did you manage to get any sleep?"

"About forty-five minutes," was the answer. "I didn't realize that it had been that close to when I normally get up." Kathryn was using the time it took to gather the cards to think about what B'Elanna had just said to her. Normally, there was no way in the universe she would consider what Torres had suggested, but she admittedly wasn't herself lately. And for once, she wanted to see what that was like. Her decision made, she turned to face him. "Can I get you something?"

He smiled. "Just a coffee would be great."

"_Just_ a coffee?" she teased, moving over to the replicator. "Cream? Sugar?"

"Black, please."

Kathryn couldn't help but smile widely, though it only lasted a moment and was hidden because she faced the replicator. She walked over and handed him a cup, then gestured for him to take a seat. They wordlessly drank their coffee for a while, before he dared to break the silence. "So…"

She took a swallow from her mug, then rested it on her thigh. "So…"

Their eyes met, and they burst out laughing at the absurdity of the moment. He leaned forward from the chair he was in and put his drink on the table, using it as an excuse to move to a spot beside her on the couch. "Can I ask you a question?"

Kathryn eyed him suspiciously. "What's that?"

He leaned in toward her a little, resting an arm along the cushions that ran beside him as he turned to face her. "Why is it that we've never gotten to know one another in all this time?"

She knew exactly what he was doing. She also knew that he was veiling his intentions. "Beats me," was her simple answer.

His eyes were sparkling in the light that filtered in from the viewport. "If I may be so bold, Captain, I think it's about time we changed that."

Kathryn's heart started to beat a little faster. "What did you have in mind, Ensign?"

Lionel seemed to mull his options. Then, with a hopeful look, he said, "This," and quickly moved in to kiss her.

Once her initial surprise dissipated, Kathryn found that his sudden advance was not only welcome, but that she was eager to return it. Her free hand reached up and caressed his cheek, while she blindly reached out with the other to set her coffee down on the table without breaking their connection. A thunk of metal on glass confirmed its landing, and she threw herself into kissing him back, shuddering when his fingers brushed over her ears as he held her head in them.

When they separated, he looked down at her with a joyous sort of adoration as he whispered, "I've been dreaming of doing that since last night."

Licking her lips, her eyes dropped to where her hand now rested on his chest. "Me too." After managing to fall back asleep, Kathryn indeed had dreamed of a liaison with him, which had included many kisses and had left her feeling warm and happy when she awoke. "Literally."

He smiled, brushing the hair back from her face and making her look up at him. "I have never wanted anybody as much as I've wanted you, Kathryn. You can tell me to go if you want, but I thought that you should know that."

She examined his face, and the earnestness that it held. He was young, no doubt about it. But not so young that she should be worried of taking advantage of him. Her heart wasn't even on the line here. Kathryn was attracted to him, but not in love with him, and something told her that he understood that. There seemed to be an older wisdom about him, and something told her that he was about as emotionally invested as she was. "I don't want you to go," she breathed as she drew her fingertips across his cheek. And then moving on impulse, she pulled him to her and kissed him hard.

Lionel moaned as her tongue pushed into his mouth, his hands travelling down her back and cupping under her rear to encourage her into his lap. His blood was racing, pulse pounding in his ears as he reached up for the zipper pull to her uniform jacket. He quickly pushed it back off her shoulders, cupping her breasts through her shirt and earning a groan of pleasure from her. When his hands worked up under the shirt, she gasped and pulled back at the touch of his fingers on her skin. Worried, he asked her, "Do you want to stop?"

She shook her head and climbed down from his lap, then held her hand out to him. "Come on." Once he took it, she led him to her bedroom, and for the first time in years, really let herself blow off some steam.

* * *

After leaving the captain's quarters, B'Elanna was walking down the corridor toward Sickbay when she ran into Chakotay, who was coming from the other direction. "Hey B'Elanna, what are you doing down here?" he asked. "I thought you were playing cards with the captain."

"I was, but then something came up for her," she told him.

He frowned. "Something important?"

"Yeah, but nothing she can't handle." _It should have been with you, you silly p'takh,_ she thought to herself. "You just coming from Sickbay?"

Chakotay nodded. "With all of our downtime right now, the doc has been pouncing on everybody to do their physicals. And I ran out of excuses. You?"

"He got me three days ago."

He chuckled. "I'm still looking for someone to practice with before Friday. Can I interest you?"

"I'm actually just going to pick up Miral from her lesson," she said, "but why don't you meet me in our quarters in fifteen minutes, and we can play a few hands before dinner."

"Sounds good. See you soon."

She watched him as he disappeared around the bend in the corridor, and mumbled to herself, "Silly p'takh."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Kathryn lay on her back, panting heavily, head still spinning from the orgasm that had curled her toes and threatened to blow out her voice from her cries. Beside her, Lionel was in much the same condition, a satisfied grin on his face. Her invitation had been the last words they'd spoken, their touches and bodies taking care of the rest. Now, they lay together in silence, reveling in the afterglow of what had been fast, hard, and totally unexpected.

Eventually, he rolled over to look at her, a fingertip tracing along her arm as he spoke. "That was pretty damned amazing, Captain."

Her eyes narrowed at him. "Oh, so _now_ you're going to call me by my rank?"

He grinned. "Seemed as good a time as any."

Kathryn laughed, rolling to face him. "So tell me, do you normally go trolling for high-ranking officers? Or am I your first?"

He looked up toward the viewport as he thought. "Well…there was that admiral while I was at the Academy, and the doctor on my first ship. But she had the hots for me, so I didn't have to do much work." His smile grew even brighter as she continued to laugh. After seeing her so distressed the night before, he would do just about anything to see her happy. "But no, normally I don't." His expression then turned into a welcome leer. "I would, however, like to keep chasing a certain captain who'll remain nameless."

"Hmm…I wonder who that could be." She welcomed him in her arms as he rolled her down onto her back and kissed her, casually moving from her lips to start laying kisses down her throat. "So tell me," she said as she enjoyed his work, "Why hasn't some lucky young woman snapped you up already?"

"Couldn't say…" he mumbled, making his way down between her breasts. "Maybe I'm a lousy lover..."

At this, she laughed. "I think I can safely say that's not the case." Her eyes slid shut as he continued, a contented sigh escaping her.

His ministrations slowed when he felt her fingers, which had been clutching at his shoulders, suddenly stop. He looked up to see her looking above her head and through the viewport, nearly as still as the ice outside. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

He could see she was now distracted, so Lionel moved up to lie beside her again, taking her chin in his hand and turning it toward him. "What is it?"

She grimaced, taking a while before she'd admit, "I opened my eyes and saw the ice above me again, that's all."

"Kathryn, don't diminish it. It's something important in your life." His lover tried to turn away, but he wouldn't let her. "Tell you what. Why don't we infuse your memories of being under the ice with some more…positive ones?"

She reached over to cradle his jaw in her hand again. "I think I'd like that." In a flash, she threw him over onto his back, and straddled his hips as she bent down to kiss him.

They continued this way for a while, exploring one another at a much slower pace than they had previously. His eyes slid shut when she started to move down his body, but flew open when she cried out in terror. "What?" He saw her sitting back on her heels toward the foot of the bed, eyes wide as saucers. "What is it?"

She couldn't answer, so he turned to where she was staring, and saw a large brownish figure hovering in full view, one that had obviously been spying on them. Lionel jumped with a start to protect her, but she ducked out from behind him and leapt at the communications panel in her nightstand. "Janeway to Security. Report to my quarters immediately!" They acknowledged, and after the comm line was cut off, she continued to stare at the fluttery figure that was outside her window. "What the hell is that?"

"I don't know." He wanted to keep watching it, but his practical mind kicked in as he grabbed for his uniform. "We'd better get some clothes on."

As soon as he said it, part of Kathryn started to panic, wondering how in the hell she was going to explain to the security team why Ensign Cavendish was in her quarters. She snatched her robe from its place on the back of a nearby chair and threw it on, her brain trying to come up with a good excuse while her eyes continued to watch the figure, which had hardly moved other than to float up and down in place as it stared back at them. Her concentration was broken when she heard him say, "I'll go."

"No." She grabbed him by the arm before he could leave. "It won't matter. They'll be in the corridor by now, and they'll see you leaving."

He nodded, then moved away from her when he saw the scattered pieces of her uniform lying on the floor. She couldn't help but watch as he snatched them up and tossed them into her wardrobe. The chime to her quarters rang just as he slammed the door shut, and they exchanged a look as she called out, "Come in!"

Tuvok and a two-man security team charged inside, finding an empty living area. "Captain?"

"In here, Tuvok."

They approached cautiously, phasers drawn, to find the captain in her bathrobe, the ensign in his uniform, and a brown, fluttery figure hovering outside her viewport. The Vulcan looked from one to another, his eyes trained on the figure as he asked, "Are you alright, Captain?"

"I'm fine," she told him, "but it looks like we have a visitor."

The Chief of Security pulled a tricorder from his belt, stepping slowly toward the creature as he scanned it. "It does not appear to be in contact with the transparent aluminum," he reported, "but is merely hovering just beyond it."

By now, Kathryn had shifted into captain mode. "Get Harry to start scanning the entire cave," she ordered. "I want to know what we're dealing with. Call the senior staff to the bridge. I'll be there shortly."

"Aye, Captain." He holstered his tricorder and phaser, then turned and led his men out the door, who did not so much as even glance back at the couple they were leaving.

Kathryn's attention was back on the creature outside the ship, while Lionel watched until the security team was safely out of earshot. "You okay?"

She nodded, watching as the creature moved up along the viewport and out of her sight. After a few moments, she mumbled, "I'd better get dressed."

"I'll get back to Astrometrics and check to see where our Fen Domar friends are," he said, "just in case we have to get out of here in a hurry."

His words finally caught her attention, and she turned to face him head on. "Thank you, Ensign."

Lionel wasn't going to let her fully be the captain just yet. Stepping over to her, he took her hand in his and clutched it to his chest as he kissed her once more. "I'll see you later." Then he let her go and left, leaving her alone to get ready and head to the bridge.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

"Report!" the captain barked as she stepped onto the bridge.

Harry looked up from his station. "I'm reading approximately a hundred individual organisms in the cave with us," he told her, bringing a visual up on the viewscreen.

Sure enough, within the enclosed space, there appeared to be a large number similar to the first – tepid brown, formless creatures that floated like jellyfish through water. "We've been here for weeks. I wonder why they've decided to show up now," Chakotay wondered.

A thought struck the captain. "I'm not sure that's the case. I've had a few incidents where I thought I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. But when there was nothing there, I thought it was nothing more than fatigue catching up with me."

He frowned, remembering that he'd tried to convince her to get some rest before they'd landed in this predicament. But now was not the time to say anything about that. "Question is, where did they come from?"

"A more critical concern, Commander," Tuvok interrupted, "is to discover their intentions toward us."

Janeway nodded. "Bridge to Astrometrics."

_"Cavendish here."_

For the barest of moments, Kathryn's memory flashed back to just an hour or so earlier, and the very different Lionel Cavendish that had been in her bed. "What's the location of the Fen Domar ships?"

_"Transferring that information to you, Captain." _Ensign Kim received the link, and put it up on the viewscreen so everyone could see it. _"They appear to be just staring to leave the system,"_ Cavendish added.

"Any other ships in the area?" Chakotay questioned.

_"Negative, Commander."_

"Time until the Fen Domar are out of range?" the captain asked.

"Twenty-two hours, sixty-seven minutes," Tuvok replied.

Janeway turned to Ops. "Are they causing any sort of damage?"

He shook his head. "Not at the moment, Captain. They just seem to be checking us out."

She thought for a moment. "Alright. If all they want to do is get a look at us, then we'll let them do exactly that. Ensign Kim, continue to monitor our friends for any sort of change in intention. Tuvok, keep an eye on Pillik Stol and his cohorts, and let me know the moment they're out of range. There's no point in staying here any longer than we have to. Chakotay, you have the bridge."

"Aye, Captain."

Janeway turned on her heel and headed into the ready room, where she immediately ensconced herself behind the desk and tapped into Harry's sensor readings. They appeared to be mineral-based lifeforms, the first seen by a Federation starship since the Enterprise discovered a silicon-based form twenty year earlier. "So where did they come from?" she mused aloud, tapping the console to change the readings.

Movement just beyond her view caught her attention, and this time, she looked up to find one of the creatures now floating in front of the ready room windows. She stood up, groaning a little as aches had set into her muscles while she'd been studying their new neighbours. Ignoring the discomfort, she climbed the steps to the upper level, where she could get a good look at it. Like the one that had been hanging outside her quarters, this one merely hovered in front of her, seeming to be examining her even though it didn't have eyes. "So what do you want?" she asked it out loud. The figure merely fluttered its edges, offering absolutely no answers.

A movement beyond the creature caught her eye, and she watched carefully as one of the black dots in the ice seemed to be moving across its surface. It was quickly growing larger, and it was now very apparent that what they had thought was bits of meteorite embedded in the frozen surface were in fact thousands of individuals, who were now trapped along with the invading starship. "I'll be damned…" she breathed, entranced as she watched it come closer.

Something in her gut tightened, and she started to think that maybe they weren't going to just look them over. "Just be patient," she whispered to the second, who was now nearing the windows. "We'll be out of here soon. I promise." She then returned to her desk, where she activated the shading for the windows once again before getting back to work.

* * *

Nearly twelve hours later, Kathryn stood at the viewports in the empty mess hall, the coffee in her hand long grown cold as she stared out into the continual twilight of the ice cave. With all the excitement in her life right now, her internal clock was completely turned upside down, and while she was exhausted, her mind refused to let her sleep. If she wasn't weighing the potential disaster of these comet organisms versus the definite disaster of revealing themselves too early, she was daydreaming back to her encounter with Lionel.

She'd known it was wrong, especially after all the defending she'd done of the rules when it came to Chakotay. But she also knew that she wasn't herself these days. Being stuck in this cave, forced to lay low in order to evade yet another enemy bent on claiming her ship, her crew, and most likely herself as prizes, had rather quickly pushed her beyond her usual self-imposed limits. She'd already been entertaining notions of flirting back with the young man when B'Elanna chewed her out about her hesitation, and something in Kathryn snapped. _Not snapped,_ she justified to herself, _just…stretched a whole lot._

One of the creatures made close pass, and as she watched it, her train of thought shifted. _What's so wrong with it?_ They were both adults, and she had no illusions that there were any emotions deeper than lust involved. Truth was that it was doing her battered ego some good. There wasn't exactly a line of men waiting to knock on her door anymore, and even if she wasn't on Voyager, there wasn't any guarantee of a better deal.

Her mind turned back to the problem at hand. At the moment, staying here with these curious but seemingly harmless creatures was the safest option for them, but for how long, she didn't know. She was so deep in thought that she didn't hear the doors open, but was brought back into the room when a ghostly figure came up behind her reflection in the window. "What are you doing up?" she asked.

Cavendish smiled. "Couldn't sleep." He looked out at the creatures that seemed to glide across the length of the windows and out of their view. "You?"

She grimaced. "Trying to figure a way out of this." They were quiet as they continued to watch. After a while, Kathryn studied his reflection. He stood alert, with his hands at parade rest behind his back, but seemed to convey a sense of calm that she envied. "Got any bright ideas?"

He shook his head. "Not a one."

The way his voice clipped off told her that what he said wasn't entirely true. Looking over at him, she questioned, "What is it?"

Lionel's attention stayed on them. "They make me nervous, Kathryn."

"Me too," she agreed, gazing outside the ship once again. "I wish there were some way to talk to them, but we tried every greeting Harry could think of. I'm not sure they're even capable of communication." She paused in thought. "I just hope they don't think we're food or something."

Sensing her uncertainty, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a sideways hug. "We'll figure it out," he whispered, kissing the top of her head. As they stood there, an idea hit him. "Maybe there's some way to lure them away from the ship. Like a dog when you throw a ball." When she looked up at him in wonder, he added, "Might help keep us from unintentionally injuring them when we blast out of here."

A slow smile lit her face. "You're brilliant. You know that?"

Lionel gave her a sly look. "Yup. In every possible way."

Kathryn couldn't help but chuckle. "Tell you what. Once this is done and we're back in open space, how about you give me a report of just how many ways?"

"Any time, Captain." Knowing they were alone, she pulled him down for a kiss, then stepped away from him and moved to the doors to head up to the bridge.

He stood there alone for a few seconds, rubbing his chin as he smiled to himself. Though enticed, he was also feeling somewhat drowsy, so he thought he'd give sleep another try. Just before he reached the doors opposite the ones the captain had left through, they opened to reveal Commander Chakotay, who regarded him with a somewhat disgruntled eye. "Ensign," he greeted coolly.

"Commander." Cavendish continued on his way, thankful when he heard the doors close again. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure the first officer hadn't doubled back, and when he saw he was alone, he laughed softly. He'd have had to have been the dumbest man in the universe not to recognize the contempt that had just been flung his way – Chakotay must have seen them through the windows in the doors. _I didn't think he still had that in him,_ he remarked, stepping into the turbolift knowing that he, the lowly ensign, had something that Chakotay had never managed to get.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

_Captain's Log: Supplemental_

_ We have three more hours before the Fen Domar are out of range, and the number of mineral-based creatures surrounding the ship continues to grow. They haven't made any threatening moves as of yet, but I can't shake the feeling that they are only the curious beings they appear to be. Lieutenant Torres assures me that they are not affecting any systems, while Ensign Kim confirms that they are only sitting outside the ship, and have not tried to land on its surface. Based on an idea from Ensign Cavendish, Mister Kim and I are working on finding out what sort of stimulus these creatures respond to, in order to create some sort of a distraction that will draw them away from the ship to avoid hurting any of them when we leave. Or to keep them from hurting us, if need be. But so far, nothing works._

_ The tension among the crew is stifling, and is only getting worse. I had hoped to leave a buffer of a few hours before we melt our way out of here. But with our present company, that might be asking for a lot._

B'Elanna was the first one awake in their quarters. She and Tom were both due at a staff meeting in an hour, and she wanted to have a little bit of time to have breakfast with her family before they dropped Miral off with the Wildmans. Instantly craving raktajino, she put on her robe and crept into the living area, mindful of the sleeping figure on their couch. As she waited for it to materialize, she looked at the sleeping Cavendish, smiling to herself when she thought about how in less than a day, he was making her closest friend a lot happier than she'd been in years. _You'll do,_ she thought kindly.

The movement of the creature that was still hanging outside the window over him was faint through the shading in the transparent aluminum, though it seemed to be fluttering at a much faster rate than usual. She was about to pay it no mind until it red luminescent streaks started to suddenly shoot across its body, and a breath later, the room shook hard as it impacted with the window. Automatically reaching for her commbadge and finding nothing there, she dashed over to the desk as she hollered, "Tom!" A second later, her finger was on the comm console. "Torres to bridge!"

_"Janeway here."_

The panic in her voice had rousted her husband immediately, and he was in the doorway to the bedroom in an instant. "What's wrong?"

"Get Miral!" she yelled at Tom, just as the creature hit the window again. Paris didn't need to be told twice, and raced across to his daughter's bedroom. "Captain, one of the creatures is banging into the viewport in our quarters," she shouted as she dashed for the phasers that they had stashed out of Miral's reach. Another hit, and she saw that Cavendish still was trying to wake up. "Lionel, get out of there!"

On the couch, Lionel was slower to wake up. "Huh?"

The creature's lighting pattern seemed to explode, and just as B'Elanna leapt forward to grab him, a flash of energy threw her backward as the alien merged with the matter of the window, and then burst into their living area.

_"B'Elanna? What's going on?"_ the captain called. _"Respond!"_

With a groggy Miral on his shoulder, Tom had just re-emerged to see what happened, and he ran to his wife, who was now just picking herself up off the carpet. "Intruder alert!" he shouted. "One of them is in here!" A scream filled the room just as he reached down to help her, and he looked up to find the creature had moved to envelop the man on the couch. "Lionel!"

On the bridge, the captain's head had snapped up from her work at Ops at the first call, the sound of Cavendish's scream going through every person there. Tuvok had immediately left to go deal with the intruder. "Captain, the entire group appears to be moving in on us," Ensign Kim reported, putting the external sensor feed up on the viewscreen. Like the one that was now inside the ship, the creatures were lit up and grouping together. "I'm getting reports of at least half a dozen more trying to get in."

"Where?" she demanded, noticing that Chakotay had just arrived on the bridge.

"Crew quarters…and the ready room."

"Captain, two more breaches on Decks Six and Eleven," Ayala reported from Tactical. "Sending teams now to intercept."

"Evacuate those areas." She punched a button on her console to open a ship-wide line. "Janeway to all hands. The creatures surrounding the ship appear to be able to get inside. Arm yourselves. Repeat, arm yourselves."

Baytart had left the helm to access the bridge weapons locker, and he tossed the captain's preferred phaser rifle to her before reaching for another to throw to the first officer. "Captain, we have no idea what phaser fire will do to them," her first officer warned.

Janeway's thoughts went back to the creatures that had nearly destroyed them when they'd encountered the Equinox. She certainly didn't want a replay of that event. "I know, but we don't have much choice." A million thoughts were flashing through her head. "Harry, anything common to the areas they're entering through?"

He shook his head. "None that I can see, Captain."

"See…" His words triggered something in the first officer's brain as he looked at the image of the closed ice cave on the viewscreen. "Harry, are those windows currently shaded?"

Checking his readings again, Kim confirmed, "They are, sir."

They may not have thought much alike anymore, but the captain thought the same thing the second Chakotay mentioned it. Their conversation was cut off by a loud bang that came from the ready room doors. Both whirled to face it, rifles lifted and ready to fire. "Harry, remove the shading on those windows now!"

The next bang dented the ready room doors, but the creature was still held back from the bridge. "Window shadings removed, Captain."

The shaking of the ship stopped almost immediately, but now the creature on the other side seemed to step up its campaign to escape. "What are you thinking, Commander?"

"We closed them in," he quickly explained, lifting his rifle at another hit on the doors. "What if they think the dark windows are a hole back into space?"

"It would be like closing off a cave full of bats," Ayala added, his own phaser trained on the ready room doors as well. "They'll try to find any avenue of escape."

"If we punch a small hole in the ice wall, maybe they'll use it to get out," Chakotay finished.

The captain looked at her security officer. "Do it."

_"Tuvok to Bridge. Three more creatures have broken through the viewports and are currently uncontained. We require reinforcements to keep them confined."_

The captain looked to Chakotay, who headed off into the lift just as Tom and B'Elanna came out, Miral still clinging onto her father's shoulder. "Don't let them touch you," Torres warned her friend as the doors closed.

Another bang drew their attention back to the ready room doors. "Ayala?" the captain questioned.

"Firing."

Keeping one eye on the intruder, she watched on the viewscreen as Mike aimed short, sharp bursts of phaser fire through an infinitesimal gap in the creatures. His efforts left a hole about twenty metres across in the ice, through which they could see the carbon dioxide jet that had helped them hide in the first place. While the creature in the ready room continued to slam into bulkheads, the luminescence of those outside the ship shifted. The blazing red subdued, spots of blue filtering through the changing pattern as they seemed to still.

"They've stopped whatever they're been doing," Kim announced.

"What about the ones trying to get in?"

Harry checked his readouts again. "They seem to be losing interest." A beep on his panel made him look down, and then back up again. "Captain, the ones in the far wall…"

They all saw that a number of creatures that had still been embedded in the cave wall were on the move toward the hole they had just cut. Everyone held their breath as they seemed to hover around it, giving the captain serious doubts as to whether or not this ploy was going to work. For a few agonizing seconds they did nothing else, but then in a burst of now yellowish flashes, they poured out into the comet's dust tail.

"Thank God," Baytart mumbled, his rifle sagging along his body.

"Are the ones around the ship moving?" Janeway asked.

"Negative."

"Maybe they need some encouragement," Paris suggested.

Harry frowned at him. "What do you mean?"

"When I was a kid, my grandmother had a barn cat that used to always sneak into the house when she wasn't looking," Tom explained. "She'd get so mad that most of the time, the cat was ushered back outside with a broom under his backside."

If things hadn't been so dire, Janeway would have laughed. "We're fresh out of brooms."

B'Elanna's brain moved faster than any other. "Maybe we can use the tractor beam. Reverse the polarity, and with a wide dispersal, use it to push them toward the hole."

"Do it," the captain said again, lifting the tip of her rifle as B'Elanna passed before leveling it back at the ready room doors. The noise had subsided, but the creature was still in there. "How many are still on board?"

"Three," Ayala reported. "One in the ready room, one in Tom and B'Elanna's quarters, and one in Lieutenant Marin's quarters."

"Janeway to Tuvok."

_"Go ahead, Captain."_

"Tuvok, what is our visitor doing at the moment?"

In the abandoned Paris-Torres quarters, a semi-circle of phasers and rifles had formed around the creature, which had ceased its attack on Cavendish a few moments after the window shading had been removed. "It appears to be stationary for the moment, Captain, but no indication of its intentions." On the couch, Cavendish's writhing cries had dulled to moans, but nobody could get near him as the creature would move toward them whenever they took a step forward.

"Standby." The captain turned toward the engineering station. "B'Elanna?"

"Almost got it." Her fingers flew as she reconfigured the beam, and Torres was thankful in the back of her mind that this modification was an easy one now. A couple decades ago, doing what she was doing now would have taken hours to set up. Now, it just took a few minutes and calculations. Everyone waited with baited breath until she finally called out, "Got it! Initiating the sweep now."

The mingling green beams of the tractor shot out from the ship, producing an instant result. The creatures' colouring shifted to white and red stripes indicating some sort of distress, but they seemed to get the idea and started to move away from it. Controlling it manually, Torres slowly swept it metre by metre across the cave, driving them toward the hole in the ice, which was now completely empty of their brethren. As they neared the exit, their dancing colours changed to the yellow of their cousins, and they seemed to clamor over one another to get out. The creatures on the far side of the ship seemed to get the idea, and they shot across the cave and joined the mad rush.

"It's working," Ensign Kim reported, a note of relief in his voice. "It might take a while, but they're making their way out into the dust tail."

The captain's tense shoulders dropped a little. "Bridge to Transporter Room. Can you lock onto the creature in the ready room and beam it off the ship?"

_ "Negative, Captain."_

Another shudder shook the ship. "We may not have to, Captain," Ayala told her. "It looks like the one in the ready room is trying to leave the way it came."

Down below, the creature that Tuvok and Chakotay were guarding jumped back to life, fluttering wildly as it turned back toward the viewport. Without warning, it took a wild circuit through the living area, knocking the first officer aside when he couldn't get out of the way fast enough. It seemed to need to gain speed, and took another lap before it ran directly into the viewport, throwing off a massive burst of energy just as it had on the way in and knocking the security team to the floor.

Tuvok was on his feet immediately, running the few steps toward Chakotay and checking for a pulse, finding it strong. Then he moved to Cavendish, whose grey pallor and shallow breathing told him all he needed to know. Tapping his commbadge, he called, "Medical emergency in Lieutenant Paris's quarters."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

The Doctor's call came about fifteen minutes after the last of the creatures exited the ship and the cave, leaving Voyager alone in its hiding spot for the remaining time it needed to be out of the enemy's sensor range. Tom and Miral joined the captain and chief engineer in the turbolift on the way down, getting off on their deck so he could go inspect what damage had been done. Amazingly, the creatures had seemed to bond with the transparent aluminum on their way through, preventing a hull breach, so he hoped that he'd be able to resettle his daughter quickly.

As Kathryn and B'Elanna rode the rest of the way together, the younger woman watched as the other paced, but wisely said nothing. She wanted to give out some platitude about everything being alright, but she knew that it wasn't going to be the case. She had seen what had happened to Lionel, and she hoped with everything she had that it wasn't going to be bad news. She had grown rather fond of their roommate.

Sickbay was quiet when they entered. Chakotay was sitting upright on one of the biobeds, a little groggy with the shoulder of his uniform apparently burned away. The captain stopped beside him. "You alright, Commander?"

"A bit woozy," he said quietly, rubbing at the lump on his head that the Doctor hadn't been able to heal yet. "Are they gone?"

She nodded. "All gone into space."

The EMH came over to her, wearing a grim expression that she knew all too well. "Captain, I'm afraid it's not good news." He glanced at the surgical bay, its open arch revealing a grave and rather still Lionel Cavendish under a blanket.

Her eyes followed him, her chest constricting. "What happened?"

"Because the creatures are mineral-based, they have no body heat, and are the same temperature of the ambient space around them. When the creature touched him, its extremely cold temperature destroyed approximately half of his body tissues," he explained, not only to her, but to the two other senior officers as well. "The remaining tissues are decaying three times faster than I can regenerate them, and it's causing a cascade of systemic failures." He reached over and rested a sympathetic hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry, Captain. There's nothing I can do."

The news hit her like a blow, but she asked, "Is he in pain?"

"Some." The hologram grimaced. "I've given him the strongest painkiller I have, but it's only taking the edge off."

Kathryn's jaw clenched, working from side to side as she tried to keep hold of her emotions. Nodding her acceptance of his report, she stepped around the Doctor and slowly made her way over to the surgical bed. The sight of his face, the left side completely blackened with the effects of incredibly severe frostbite, nearly made her gag. The blanket covered his chest, which she could see was sunken and obviously missing areas where the creature had made contact with him. Forcing herself to look beyond the injuries, she reached over and cradled his good cheek in her hand. "Lionel?"

His functioning eye was still closed, but she could tell that he heard her calling to him. "'Fraid…report's…gonna be late," he managed to say.

Her reaction was one of a choked sob mixed with a huff of laughter. "It can wait," she whispered, her thumb stroking over his jaw, his lips and his cheekbone.

The touch made him smile slightly, just a curl at the corner of his mouth. Lionel managed to crack his eye open, her face swimming before him as he reached for her. He could barely feel her other hand take his, but it was enough. "Should have…slept…your place."

Kathryn bravely smiled at him, tears blurring her image of him as she tried to blink them away. "We wouldn't have been sleeping."

His eye closed again. "S'okay. What I…planned…all along."

Lionel's breathing started to grow erratic, and she knew he was going to die here, right in front of her, making jokes and trying to make her feel better. "I'm sorry," she told him softly. "I'm so sorry."

He squeezed her fingers with what strength he had left. "Nothing…to be…sorry…for…" Managing to force his eye open, he told her, "No more…nightmares…"

She could no longer hold the tears back, and they rolled down her cheeks and dropped down onto the blanket. "No more nightmares." His breathing continued to deteriorate, now with a small pause between each breath. Acting on instinct, she leaned down and gently kissed his forehead, his eye, and then what was left of his lips while he was still there to feel it. "Thank you, Lionel. For everything."

He tried to say something, but the wheeze that built into his gasps made it impossible for him to get out more than, "Kath…" And in a handful of breaths, he was gone.

From where she stood next to the biobed, B'Elanna started to silently cry. Chakotay watched in stunned silence as he witnessed something he never thought he'd see from his captain. In thirteen years, he thought he'd seen every response she had, but she'd shocked him this time. He watched her flee from Sickbay, his jaw hanging, so engrossed that he didn't notice the Doctor as the hologram now treated his shoulder. "When…?"

The Doctor moved away to retrieve a piece of equipment, leaving the two of them alone. "Yesterday," she told him, wiping her cheeks with her fingertips.

His eyes tore away from the doors to the corridor and whirled around at her. "Yesterday?" A million thoughts were racing through his head, old hurts rising to the surface. "How could she?"

They'd had enough conversations in the past for her to know that Kathryn's refusal of his advances over the years had hurt him deeply, and it was obvious that despite everything that had happened since then, that Kathryn could start something with anyone else still stung. Considering he'd been married and widowed since then, B'Elanna thought he really had no basis for feeling any sort of betrayal, but of course, the heart never knew such practicalities. Clasping his hand, she simply explained, "Because she wasn't in love with him."

* * *

After leaving Sickbay, B'Elanna went looking for Kathryn. She wasn't hard to find – she'd retreated to her ready room, where she thought she would be left in peace, and would have something to do, cleaning up the mess that the creature had left behind. Knowing that her friend probably wouldn't hear the bell, Torres only rang it once before using the code that Kathryn had given her to let herself in. Sure enough, she was standing stock still before her viewports, looking out into the now-empty cave and bravely attempting not to break down.

"Hey," B'Elanna said softly as she stepped up to join her. When Kathryn didn't say anything, she offered, "I'm sorry."

While she may have been silent, tears were still rolling down Kathryn's cheeks. Torres barely heard her when she remarked, "They always end up dead. I let them in, and they die."

"This isn't your fault," B'Elanna reminded her. "It was an accident." Seeing that Kathryn was going to say nothing more, she pulled her friend into her arms and hugged her fiercely. While the dam didn't break, she could hear the sniffles and feel the strong grip of grief around her. "It's okay," she murmured, rocking her much in the way she did Miral when she was upset. "It's okay."

For a few minutes, Kathryn let herself experience the shock that came with Lionel's death, waves of anger and pain and regret washing over her. But all too soon, she forced herself to pull the lid down on her emotions yet again, and hurriedly straightened up. "I'm sorry," she apologized, hastily brushing the tears from her face.

B'Elanna frowned. "There's nothing to be sorry about."

Trying to get herself together, Kathryn looked out into the emptied cave, but that wasn't enough. "I'm fine," she said aloud, willing herself to believe it.

"Kathryn…"

She turned to her friend, her expression a mixture of anger and grief. "Please Lanna," she pleaded, "I just…need to deal with this on my own."

Torres stared at her in disbelief, but knew there was nothing she could do to help anyway. "Okay," she gave in. Then to give herself an excuse to leave, she looked down at her bathrobe and said, "I'd better go get dressed. I'll talk to you later." Giving her friend one last look, she then made her way down the steps and out through the side door.

* * *

The captain returned to the bridge about an hour later, her slightly reddened eyes being the only indication that she'd ever been upset. Her senior staff were all back on the bridge, including Torres, who looked up from her station when she saw their leader enter. Focused on nothing but being all business, Janeway strode over to the command chair and sat down, activating her console as she started to work through the sequence of commands that would end this debacle. "Any sign of the Fen Domar?" she called aloud.

"Negative, Captain," Tuvok advised. "They have been outside of sensor range for the past forty-seven minutes."

"Very well." She drew a deep breath, then ordered, "Let's start the sequence to melt the wall. Short phaser bursts – let's do it slowly so as to not draw attention to ourselves, just in case." Turning toward the engineering station, she told Torres, "B'Elanna, prepare to retrieve the sensor relay."

"Aye, Captain."

"Ship status?"

"All decks report no damage," Harry replied. "We're good to go."

She nodded, her eyes falling back to the console. "Alright. Let's get moving."

The bridge lapsed into silence as everyone got to work. On the captain's left, Chakotay could see just how hard she was trying to appear normal, and he truly felt bad for her. His compassion winning out over their broken friendship, he reached over and put a gentle hand on her arm, giving her a supportive smile when her eyes snapped up to meet his. Her momentary flare of anger at being disturbed evaporated, and she gave him the tiniest nod to acknowledge his gesture, and her appreciation of it, before turning back to work. Setting her jaw, she called on every ounce of resolve she had, determined to bury her feelings even further down as she moved back toward her original, and only, goal.

Getting Voyager home.


End file.
